The Friday school bell was moments away. I should have been as excited as my classmates. Spring break starts with that bell, an entire week without school. My friends haven't stopped talking about the group trip everyone is going on, the books they're going to read, the games they can play together, and the shopping they plan to do. And all I can think about is what am I going to eat? Where am I going to sleep for an entire week while all of my friends are gone?

            I ran away from my father's house a month ago when he found out I was gay. My boyfriend walked me home from school, and my father, who had come home from work early, saw us together through the window. When I got inside, he attacked me, nearly breaking my arm and giving me a black eye before locking me in my room and screaming at me through the door all night while he drank himself stupid. When he finally let me out two days later so I could go to school, I never returned.

            I was terrified the morning he let me out. I didn't know what to expect, but I had already decided that I wasn't coming back once I could get away. He told me to shower, go to school, and keep my mouth shut. I did just that, eating a quick breakfast before I left. I didn't even say goodbye. 

            At school, that day, several teachers and all of my friends asked what had happened. I told them it was a baseball accident. My friends knew better but didn't push it. I was too embarrassed to tell them the truth. The only person I managed to tell the truth to was Trevor, my boyfriend. He saw right through my lies and made me tell him what really happened. After telling him the truth, he convinced his mom to let me stay at their house for a week. He told her that my dad and I had gotten into an argument, and I didn't want to go home. Since we were dating, she made me sleep in the living room, but that was okay. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t upset about it, either. Her reaction confused me since my father couldn’t accept it. While I was at her house, I made sure to clean up and help her out with Tyler’s little brother. 

When I seemed to be wearing out my welcome, I stayed over a few days with other friends. The parents always asked me what was going on with my father and wondered why I couldn’t go home. At first, I tried to lie about it, but Tyler got mad at me for lying to our friends, so I told everyone that my dad had kicked me out. I couldn’t bear the truth, and Tyler seemed content to accept this version.

            I was so worried about what my friends would think of me if they knew my father hated me because I liked boys, hated me so much he had struck me several times, enough to injure me. It was bad enough that I was already the odd man out in our group. I was the only kid in my grade without a mother, and now I didn’t really have a father either. I couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong with me.

            Couch surfing with my friends worked out well until spring break was announced. The problem was that we had a group vacation planned for spring break. Everyone and their parents planned to go to Florida, but since I spent all of my saved money just surviving the last month, and since I wasn't speaking to my father, I couldn't go on the trip. I lied to Trevor and his parents, telling them I would try to go home over break since I didn't want them to feel bad about sending me away. 

            When the bell finally rang on Friday afternoon, everyone around me rushed out of the building, eager to begin their vacation. I stayed behind, slowly making my way to the library, where I knew I could hang out until 5 pm when the librarian would shoo me out of the building. Since my mother died, I have often spent my extra hours after school in the library. My father usually came home from work around 7 pm, so I had plenty of free time in the afternoons. I hated being home alone, so I found other places to be. The library was one of my favorites since the librarian had been a friend of my mother’s before she died. I would help her put books away or move sections from one place to another on many afternoons. She would even let me come into the library if I had a bad day and needed to get away from my friends at lunch. 

To me, the library was a safe place, the safest place I knew of. Because of this, it was the place I immediately went to when I didn’t know where else to go. Once in the library, I found a dark spot in a back corner and curled up in a dark green bean bag chair. I pulled a book out of my backpack and settled in to read for an hour before I would be forced to leave and figure out where I would go for the night. 

            I must have dozed off in the quiet library because I awoke with a start. I looked around, but it was too dark to see anything. I gathered my things then walked to the front of the library. The front desk was empty, and the doors were closed. I decided to explore the school, leaving the library door open as I left so I could get back in if I needed to. Walking down the halls, it was eerily quiet. When I reached the front of the building, I realized why it was so dark in the school. Outside the wall of front windows, night had fallen. But that meant I had been locked into the school.

            I thought about this while I walked toward the cafeteria. I already knew that alarms would go off if I left the building now, and the police would come to inspect the building. There were cameras everywhere, so I figured I was caught either way. I didn't want to think about that since police involvement would invariably bring me back to my father's house, which I refused to do. 

            So, instead, I explored the cafeteria, looking through the kitchens for anything I could eat without making a huge mess. Hesitant that I might get in trouble, but growing hungrier by the moment, I removed two pre-made sandwiches and a carton of milk from the cooler. I also took a small bag of chips, a granola bar, and an apple from a nearby cabinet. I put the food carefully on one of the brown lunch trays stacked by the refrigerators, then carried the entire tray back to the library.

            Once there, I sat down at the circulation desk and turned on a small green lamp. The library was in the center of the building, so it didn’t have any windows. I assumed, because of that, it would be safe to turn on some of the lights. Once it wasn't so dark, I took my book out and sat down to eat. Being alone in the school was scary since anything could happen, and nobody would know for days. But as scared as I was, at least I wasn't at home or outside with nowhere to hide.

            As I ate, I thought about my situation, then cleaned up my mess and explored the desk, hoping to find a flashlight. Jackpot! I found an emergency kit in the bottom drawer, complete with flashlights, extra batteries, food, a blanket, and water bottles. I checked the flashlights, ensuring they worked, then removed the blanket from the drawer. While eating, I had decided to stay as long as possible inside the school since there was plenty of food and the building was temperature-controlled. 

            I used the flashlight to guide my way back to the cafeteria to return my tray, then wandered around the school looking for a couple of things I could use. I couldn't believe my luck when I found a supply closet filled with everything I needed. I found clothing in all sizes, towels, shampoo, soap, blankets, pillows, shoes, toys, books, food, and even medicines. There were bins marked girls and boys, and they had all kinds of bathroom supplies in them, most of which I didn't try to understand. I loaded everything I might need into a couple of backpacks, grabbed a sleeping bag and a pillow, then returned to the library, where I created a bed out of six oversized bean bag chairs. I set everything up for bed then wandered down to the locker room, where I took a long hot shower all alone.

            After I was clean and dressed, I returned to the library. After ten p.m., I decided I might go to sleep. I hoped I could get away with spending the entire break here, but if not, at least through the weekend. I didn't know if any of the teachers came to the school over break. I thought about this when I curled up inside the blankets with the bear and fell asleep.

            Saturday, it was nearly noon when I finally woke up. As I passed the front office to head to the cafeteria, I noticed it was raining heavily outside, and the skies were dark. I started to eat at a table in the kitchen, but loud rounds of thunder echoing off the windows on the far side of the room scared me, so I took everything back to the library, where I hid in the beanbag chairs and blankets while eating and crying. 

            I hated being alone, and I hated that my life had become this. I hated that my mother had died a year ago, and my father drank all the time now, and he hated me. And most of all, I hated that I just wanted to die.

            I stayed hidden under the blankets nearly all day, only coming out to run to the cafeteria, swap my dirty tray for a new one, fill it up with food again, then walk back as fast as possible. To keep myself entertained, I read. The library was filled with books I hadn't read yet, so I picked some and plowed through the pile right up to bedtime, where I showered, changed, and went to sleep.

            The storm continued throughout Sunday. I pretended to be the librarian for a while, talking to myself, chastising students who weren't there, reading aloud to myself. It was silly, but for a few hours, I pretended to be a grown-up who knew what they were doing and not some dumb fifteen-year-old runaway who was alone in the world, locked in a school over break. 

            On Monday morning, I couldn't believe my luck. None of the teachers came into the building. I stayed hidden for the first couple of hours, my pulse racing as I tried to be invisible in the back corner of the library, praying nobody came in and yelled at me. I finally strayed from my dark corner when my stomach started growling. I had been careful to eat the snacks in my bag as quietly as possible, but it was getting close to dinnertime, and I was starving. So, I ventured out of the library, carefully sneaking along the hallways to the kitchen. Nobody was there. After eating and cleaning up, I slunk around the school, looking for any signs of a teacher, lights, and noises. Nothing.

            The rest of the week was the same. No teachers came, no staff at all entered the building. During the day, I ate in the kitchen, read in the library, or played basketball in the gym by myself. When I got scared, which happened a lot, I would run back to the library and hide in the beanbag chairs. I revisited the teacher's supply closet a few times over the long week, getting new clothes and putting my dirty clothes in my locker. 

             Sunday, I played board games in the library, by myself, against imaginary people. I hid snacks in my school backpack and locker since I knew students and teachers would be back the following day. When I went to sleep that night, I set the alarm on one of the library iPads so I'd be dressed and hidden before anyone came into the building.

            The following day, I was up and hiding well before the librarian came in. When I could hear students filling the hallway, I slipped out of the library, put my backpack in my locker, gathered my books, and met my friends.

            I was anxious the entire school day, waiting for someone to pull me aside and yell at me. Or worse, make me go home to my father. Nobody said anything. Even when I was in the library for study hall, the librarian didn't look at me twice. At lunch, I felt confident that I had gotten away with my little vacation, so I made plans to spend a few days with Trevor, telling him my father wouldn't let me come back. Of course, he wanted to know where I had been all week, so I told him I'd explain after we were at his house.

            At three o'clock, the school nurse came to my classroom and pulled me out of my final class of the day. I was so nervous that I felt like I would vomit the entire walk as she led me to the principal's office. Inside, there were several people, including the librarian. As soon as they shut the door behind me, I knew, without a doubt, that I was in trouble.

            "Devon, have a seat," the principal said to me. I looked around at the different faces, recognizing all but one. Looking behind me, I realized a police officer in uniform was standing in the far corner.

            "Am…am I in trouble?"

            "Devon, do you think you're in trouble."

            "Um…yes."

            "No, you’re not in trouble. But we have some questions."

            "Okay."

            "Devon, when was the last time you went home?"

            "Um…I won't go home, sir."

            "And why is that?"

            "I just won't. Please don't make me. Are you going to make me go back to my father's?"

            "Well, you see, I've spent the entire day talking to Officer Stewart about that very situation."

            I turned and looked at the officer. He didn't look angry. He looked sad. He smiled at me, but I couldn't make myself smile back. I was too afraid he was going to send me home anyway.

            "Devon, where have you been living for the last month?" the officer asked me.

            "Um, with friends. I stayed with Trevor mostly."

            "I see. I believe we have already spoken with Trevor’s mother."

            "Oh. So, then she knows I ran away?"

            "Excuse me?" the principal spoke up. "Your father told us he kicked you out and told you never to come back."

            "Um…"

            "We aren't going to make you go back there. Officer Stewart and I have been talking to a social worker today. It seems your father isn't going to allow you back home, and from your actions, we assume that is what you want as well?"

            "Yes, sir."

            "Very good. We've made arrangements for you to stay with a temporary family until the end of the school year. At that time, the social worker will help you find a more permanent home."

            "Do you know where I will be going?"

            The librarian, Mrs. Miller, stepped away from the wall and walked over to stand beside me. "I’ve volunteered to keep you. I already take in foster children, so it’s all taken care of. I’ve watched the security footage, Devon, and I’m very proud of how well you behaved alone in the school all week. Maybe later tonight, we can talk about some of the things that made you cry. You spent a lot of your week crying into blankets. I want to help you with that.”

            “I… okay.”

            “When school is over today, could you please meet me in the library? You may also bring all the clothes and stuff you hid in your locker. Did you know, Devon, that all of the stuff in that supply closet is for students to have? If you need anything else, we can get it before we leave.”

            I started crying then. I tried not to, but I didn’t understand why Mrs. Miller was being so nice. And I was so relieved that I wasn’t in trouble. I couldn’t help myself.

            Mrs. Miller wrapped me in a big hug and held me while I cried. When I stopped, they sent me back to class to finish the day while they took care of the paperwork. After school, I cried again when Mrs. Miller showed me her house and the bedroom that was now mine. She promised nobody would judge me and that I was safe and then assured me that I never had to see my father again. When I asked her how she could be so sure, she told me he had signed paperwork that meant he wasn’t my legal guardian anymore. 

            When I closed my eyes that night, tucked into a warm bed with my teddy bear, I thought about how scared I had been of being caught. Now, I was glad it had happened. I couldn’t wait to see what tomorrow would bring. Finally, after a long time of being afraid of the future, I was happy to be alive and eager to see what came next.